So little known fact. I intend to be a bit… much! Dramatic, perfectionist, passionate, short tempered, most of the time I actually have no Idea what I am. did I mention dramatic? I can truely say its NOT BY CHOICE!
So my everyday life is pretty much – I dont like messy spaces. Hate. It. I wont go nuts immediately but after a few minutes of seeing how there are crumbs on the counter and floor after I JUST cleaned it. Boom! Rough!
Sooo needless to say:
With all the wedding planning slowly coming into full circle and tempers rising (mine mostly) and all the nitty gritty needing to be finalised, I find myself, lost.
Unfortunately I like doing things myself. If you want to help me then I am sooooooo gratefull but I do get a bit impatient – which is weird because I used to be a Jnr photography lecturer and you have to have patience with people. I think the problem comes in when I need help, help is given, but I sense its more of a pain for them than something exciting. It. Gives. Me. A. Pain. And I cant explain it.
I’m NOT OCD. But i’m not far from it either. I’m a perfectionist. Which by itself means I am very unproductive and focuses on the little things instead of the bigger picture. I know its a problem and it annoyes me that I have that problem. I want to be perfect by not being a perfectionist. If that did not make sense – it did not make sense in my head either so please feel free to help me out. 😦
It makes life hard to the point where you are doing all of the work instead of just asking for help. You bottle everything up because if you do ask, it might sound like you think they are incompetent. Which is not the case at all. Its just really hard in letting go of something you can do youself and know how to do.
Wanting help, denying help, regretting you didnt ask for help, crying because you cant ask for help again.
With my bridesmaids – I think I am in this situation (from “my expections”) because I honestly dont know how to ask for help and to accept it. I hate it. I want help but I’m too frustrated to ask. With that being said. I only accept help when someone says to me “shut up let me do this! Go drink your wine!” Then and only then am I like, “okey, so, couch, couches are nice.”
I WANT HELP! I cant do everything.
What gets to me is when someone asks “aren’t you done though?”. No. No, i’m not.
Problem I am facing is more of a emotionaly support thing. I obviously want everything to be just perfect and pretty and cute! But it kind of feels like I am the only one. That make sense?
Rant for the day done! This weekend I hope we will get to see how practical my idea for centre pieces truly are.
Have a good one guys